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WHAT WOMEN REALLY WANT..
Men have been endeavoring to find the answer to this question for quite some time. I have often told them that different women wanted different things. Although this is true I think I may have been missing the core of what they were asking. I am just learning now what women truly want. It isn't an easy answer but it is a concise one.
At the core of us, we women who are in touch with our emotions, our life goals, our spirituality, our sexuality and our values, really want to be that one someone's everything, second only to God. We really want that someone who sees us for all that we are and all that we could be, will grow to be if given the chance, patience and nuturing. Yes we need nuturing too. We want that one who knows that all the he sees in the differences of us is everything that he wants. In order to have that he must know himself as much as we must know ourselves. We want him to love all of our possibilities as much as he loves all of the things that we may do or say that annoys him or makes him angry.
So often I have been told how strong I am. And I am. But I have so long been waiting for that one that will be strong for me. The one that will let me put down my mantle of strength at times and be weak in his arms without condemnation or judgement. Even the most independent woman, yeah I'm calling ya'll out, needs, not wants, a support system.
Every super strong woman needs time off from trying to make it and make sure everyone else's needs are met to regroup and restore her energy within the security of the man who loves and supports only her within the parameters of their relationship. Security. It's a word that is life to us, to women. We need to know that our 'one' is at home when we arrive or will come home as he should and is not in the arms of another. We need to know if anything remotely dangerous or potentially hurtful should or could happen he will be there to protect us even if we can protect ourselves. We need to know that we and our children are his top priority in the world. We need to know he's completely committed, to be assured of his love and loyalty. We can not go on assumptions of love or caring. We don't need the man who is too afraid or macho to say "I love u" "I care about u" "I need u" Because otherwise we don't know. Especially if it's not being shown. We need to hear it, see it and feel it. We need to know without a shadow of a doubt. I have told men that the worst thing they could do is allow a woman to start thinking. Our minds are very analytical and calculating and can get carried away at times. But with men knowing this I believe they should first of all work so that the doubts and fears do not come in and second, should they come, work to dispel those doubts and fears. I'm only talking about real adults, real ppl who love one another. Let us reexamine the word committment. Let us reexamine what it means to love someone unconditionally. As adults we must learn that no matter how much love is involved things are not going to be easy. Things are going to be said and done, volatile and sometimes hurtful things in passion and anger but that's what happens in love. Love is an extremely volatile emotion. It can bring u to Heaven or right to the doorstep of hate. Now how can emotion like that bring only rainbows and roses? We have to make up our minds to love the lovely things but also accept the irritating, get on your nerves things so that our committment to love one another stays strong. We don't need idle words. We don't need someone to tell us that we are the "one" and that things are gonna last if they don't really mean it. We need someone who says it and knows within himself that it's true and means it with all of his heart.
We need someone who wants, needs and can't wait to be there instead of someone who is there because he feels obligated in some way. In summary I will pull a scene from the amazing love story from the movie "The Notebook". I think we women would love to have our 'Noah'..
Allie: Stay with u? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'
Noah: Well that's what we do..we fight! U tell me when I'm bein an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell u when u are being a pain in the ass..which u are! 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. U have like a 2 second rebound rate and your back doing the next pain in the ass thing.
Allie: So what?
Noah: So, it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this everyday but I wanna do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, everyday..
Now there's a man who loves her because of and in spite of. We want to be loved for all of our potential and possibilities and for all of our pain in the ass type shyt. Give us the chance to grow and allow love to overshadow some of that stuff. We may never be rid of it all but whom among us is perfect? I hope this helps someone. ~Be well
